Companies Who Don't Call Interviewees Back Should Be Stabbed In The Face

My gripe du jour is about companies who call you to come in to interview for a job that you've applied for and then never bother to call you back.  Simply put, our job market sucks: Human Resources departments have their heads up their asses so far that they can see their own tonsils, managers are so chicken-shit that they can't piss down their own leg without asking permission, college graduates with massive amounts of student loan debt are begging for jobs at McDonalds, and people like me with no college degree but a grundle of experience (a grundle is two shitloads, by the way) are treated like cretinous imbeciles.




I went to probably my thousandth job interview (not exaggerating) a few weeks back, which means that I had to take time off work and make sure I was at the company early, then I sat there for almost an hour because the hiring manager decided she had more important things to do than to keep her appointment with me.  Of course I said it was no problem, though I was hoping that her eyeballs would start bleeding during the interview because I am sick and damn tired of being left to sit and molder on their cheap furniture while they pick their nose and giggle while playing their childish game of "let's keep the interviewee waiting."  I thought that I did well during the interview, but of course one never knows what the other side is really thinking.  "Is that her real hair or a fright wig?"  "I wonder why anyone over the age of forty even bothers to apply for a job."  "I hope that cute guy in Accounting who seemed impressed by how freaky I am in bed didn't catch my crabs."  And of course, I haven't heard back since the interview.




A few years ago, I actually went on 3 interviews at the same company for the same job and never heard back.  Three.  That's three interviews.  Three.  That means I had to take off work, drive over to the company, sit and listen to their bullshit for an hour or more, and say why I thought I was a great fit for their bullshit company and their bullshit job three different times.  And the motherfuckers didn't even have the common courtesy to call or email and tell me to take a flying leap off a bridge.  The worst interview I've ever been to was for a company I'd interviewed for previously and swore I'd never interview with again because they didn't bother to call or email afterward.  The headhunter who called begged me to go on an interview and said the management had changed.  I gave in and went, and the dumbshit conducting the interview actually played "20 Questions" with me to determine how good my troubleshooting skills were.  I should have gotten up and walked out.




So please, if you are interviewing potential employees, have some decency and either call or email the person if they don't get the job.  It's the least you can do, you lousy, putrid scumbag, and it may just help prevent a little shitty karma from showing up on your doorstep.

How To Be A Great Boss

1. Don't show your emotions, especially if you get angry or upset with your employees.  I had a boss who sent me an email asking, "Can you explain to me why you didn't do this?" after I neglected to change a status in our sales app for a customer.  Treating an employee with contempt does nothing for their morale, and will probably make them resent you.

2. Don't bad-mouth your employees, especially in writing.  I worked for two guys who acted like Beavis & Butthead: they fucked off and giggled like two little girls all day long, harassed and intimidated their employees, sent emails between themselves disparaging the employees and talking about all the drugs they'd been doing.

3. Don't make stupid bigoted comments about sex, race, religion, sexual orientation, weight, etc.  I've had a couple of bosses who asked me to "do a friend a favor" or what they should serve for breakfast at a morning meeting because "being a woman" I would know about what to serve for breakfast.

4. Don't let your insecurities (or other mental illnesses) get in your way.  A woman I used to work for always told everyone she had a degree in Communications (the degree people get when they can't hack an English Literature degree), but couldn't spell potato and did everything in her power to fire me after I teased her about it.  Guess what, Barbie doll: you look like a moron when you try to make yourself look smart by bringing up your degree but can't spell or use "big" words properly.

5.  For God's sakes, do not micromanage!  I used to work for a CIO who couldn't tie his shoes, much less manage anyone.  This imbecile claimed it only took "five clicks" to troubleshoot and fix PC problems, mainly because he wanted to outsource our PC techs to India.  If we experienced an outage or problem, he had to be right in the middle of everything, telling us what to do and how to do it.  Consequently, it always took twice as long to fix anything because he didn't know his ass from his elbow and his meddling only inhibited the actual problem solving.

The best bosses I've had simply get the hell out of the way, lead by example, and offer guidance when necessary.

Companies Are Screwing Job Applicants

I realize that this article comes from a humor website called Cracked, but the content is accurate and depressingly scary:  http://www.cracked.com/article_20322_6-ways-companies-are-secretly-screwing-job-applicants.html

I'd heard about these "blacklists" but hadn't seen a lot of coverage or information about them until I stumbled on this information.  Now think about this with a mature, clear, reasonable head.  Is it fun to sometimes get back at people you don't like?  Of course it is.  Is it fun when it happens to you?  No, it's not.  Is this something that we should really allow?  Oh, Hell no.  Just think of all the havoc you alone could wreak by putting names of people who've pissed you off onto a blacklist that may prevent them from ever getting hired again.  Now, think about how many people YOU have pissed off over the years.  How about coworkers, bosses, former friends, exes...Are you sure that guy you were tailgating doesn't have (or can't get) your name or information?  I used to work with a guy whose ex-wife (who worked for a mortgage company) ruined the credit of an enemy by reporting her to a credit agency for defaulting on a loan that she'd never had.  I've pissed people off, and I've been "wronged" by others.  That does not give me or anyone else the right to ruin their lives.

I understand that potential employers want to hire the right candidate; however, the availability of a "blacklist" opens up a Pandora's box for HR and hiring managers, and is too subjective and extremely dangerous.  Holding a grudge to the point of ruining a person's life says a lot more about a supposed "professional" than it does about a supposed "bad" employee.

How To Know If It's Time To Quit Your Job

When your company is spending lots of money refurbishing the break rooms while laying people off.

When your boss kicks and punches multi-million-dollar equipment because he's "upset" about not getting a bonus.

When your boss starts talking to you (and treating you) like you're a dimwitted 3-year-old.

When your boss asks you to answer a question about breakfast because, "...you're a woman and you fix breakfast."  (Same boss wouldn't hire another woman because he, "...already had a woman in the department.")

When your boss signs up for an MLM and puts all of his (and your) energy into it.  News Flash:  MLMs don't work, they never have, they never will (except for the person/people who start the MLM.  Think "Bernie Madoff.")

When your boss throws you under the bus for something he did.

When your boss changes your job description such that you don't qualify for your own job.

When your boss stops acting like an adult and/or professional.

When your boss won't communicate information to you but gets mad at you because you apparently can't read minds and don't have the information that's not being communicated to you.

When you don't receive your paycheck.  Twice.

Jobs vs. Disability

In June, more workers went on disability than got jobs.  What does that mean to you?  Well, the likelihood that Social Security will be bankrupt in the very near future.  Also, there isn't as much money circulating because being on disability means they aren't spending money on "luxury" items, such as automobiles, clothing, shoes, eating out, CDs or DVDs, etc.  There also isn't as much money going back into Social Security, State and Federal income taxes, and if these people lost their homes because of their decrease in income, that means less property taxes, and a glut of houses which affects neighbors, banks, realtors, cities, and counties.  With fewer people in the workforce and fewer dollars being pumped into the economy, Mr. or Ms. CEO will probably stop getting those multi-million dollar bonuses they've become accustomed to.

What the politicians aren't saying is that all of this - the lousy economy, the lack of jobs or lack of good-paying jobs, the increase of workers getting food stamps or going on disability - is all connected and is affecting EVERYTHING.  Whether workers aren't getting hired because of a lack of jobs, or more likely, ridiculous and discriminatory interviewing and/or hiring practices, it's now reaching crisis mode.

I realize that the economy and debt crisis is not necessarily completely the fault of companies' laying off workers or not hiring qualified workers because they didn't answer a question "correctly" or they wore too big of a diamond ring to the interview, but this is not just a fun little HR game anymore, it's a country-wide problem that could have long-term effects on our country and even the world.

Corporations Can Get Away With Murder

Lo and behold, I found yet another reason to bitch about Citi:  http://www.ksl.com/?nid=157&sid=17846187#.TtP_Ru2mNUc.email  Basically what this article says is that Citi committed crimes, Citigroup and the Securities and Exchange Commission then came to some sort of agreement (e.g., payoff), and now the SEC is shielding the public from details of the firm's wrongdoing.

As if Citi doesn't make enough money gouging people with exhorbitant fees and interest rates that would make the Mafia blush, they also have to mislead investors in order to make even more obscene profits.

According to this article:  "U.S. District Judge Jed Rakoff said the public has a right to know what happens in cases that touch on "the transparency of financial markets whose gyrations have so depressed our economy and debilitated our lives." In such cases, the SEC has a responsibility to ensure that the truth emerges, he wrote."  Pretty amazing that the SEC would allege criminal activities and then run away with their tail between their legs; of course, they probably had a suitcase full of money to buffer any apprehensions they might have had about not forcing Citi to admit guilt or wrongdoing.

And as if that weren't enough to make one vomit every time one sees anything with the Citi logo, there's another article listing CEOs who are job killers, which I've posted previously, but this time with a video clip on Vikram Pandit's slide that reads: "Citigroup board gives Pandit a big raise." http://money.msn.com/investing/ceos-who-became-job-killers-thestreet.aspx?cp-documentid=6834878  Warms the heart to know that Vikram is getting raises even as Citi is announcing projected layoffs to cut costs.  These stories of corporate greed, corruption, and malfeasance keep getting more and more frequent and more and more ludicrous.

Prophetic Post?

I hate to be a know-it-all, but back in July, I posted "Why Robots Are Better Employees Than Humans" and I prattled on about Citicorp, one of the many evil empires who gleefully accepted some of the free cash that was being liberally strewn about for the poor banks and corporations who were really hurting for funds.  Nevermind that these business were suffering due to poor management; don't confuse the issue with facts.  Citicorp, headed by Vikram Pandit, who also happens to be one of the top ten CEOs who are job killers (http://money.msn.com/investing/ceos-who-became-job-killers-thestreet.aspx?cp-documentid=6834878&GT1=33002) has recently announced that is seeking to trim costs and is considering cutting about 1 percent of its work force or 3,000 (or more) workers.  http://www.timesunion.com/business/article/Citigroup-considers-3-000-job-cuts-2273202.php  Aren't we glad that they got some of our hard-earned tax money in that gigantic bailout that was meant to not only keep the companies afloat but to help them grow and create jobs?  Heaven forbid that Vikram should have to eat anything lesser than lobsters caught near Fourchu and flown fresh to whichever home he happens to be at (depending on the season, of course).

I wonder how many other companies who received bailout money have been or are planning on getting rid of employees ostensibly in the interest of cutting costs.  And in the wake of the Fannie-Freddie scandal where millions have been paid out in bonuses so these companies can retain "talent," my question is:  Why do these big-wigs not have to earn their millions in salary and bonus BEFORE the salary and bonuses are paid?  Why do they not have to save the companies prior to getting compensation since that's what they were hired to do?  And if the companies go under, or don't do as well as they should have, why should this "talent" get paid at all?  What does a CEO really do that is so special to warrant earning 6- or 7-figure salaries and bonuses?  I've never seen a CEO or CIO or executive of any kind actually roll up their sleeves and participate in anything except meetings or news releases or, at worst, "sexting" subordinates while they're sitting in their office and arranging to meet for an afternoon tryst.

The Occupy Wall Street protest was inevitable when people who have lost touch with reality and have nothing to lose treat their subordinates like pawns in a terrible game.