One More Reason To Hate Your Employer

My most recent employer initially wasn't terrible, but like everything else in this world, the honeymoon didn't last long, especially when many of their promises were as empty as Kim Kardashian's head.  I was basically thrown into my job and pretty much expected to learn everything myself because the former area manager (demoted) doing the "supposed" training was busy texting and calling her kids and boyfriend almost the entire time she was supposed to be training.  I never got any feedback as to whether or not I was doing things correctly until I got an annual review (which was actually very good, though I didn't get a raise or anything out of it).




One of the biggest problems came when my one-year anniversary came around and the company tried to fuck me out of 24 hours of vacation time because they didn't rollover vacation time (which I think is very chicken shit, as well as not making employees aware of this).  Bad enough that they only give one week of vacation no matter how long you've been at the company (unless you're management, I'm sure).  I did get paid 16 hours of the 24 owed, but I was left with a pretty bitter taste in my mouth.




About a month later, my co-worker was fired, and the district manager dumped all of said co-worker's workload on me.  In other words, I got to do the work of 2-3 people with no extra pay or incentives or help.  I was told that when needed, the aforementioned "trainer" would step in and help me out, which was bullshit because she either never showed up or came in and complained about her kids and boyfriend and then left without taking any work with her.  I was not only supposed to do all this work, but also field calls every week from literally hundreds of angry people demanding to know where there records were.  Don't get me wrong:  I have no problem with hard work.  I just don't think it's necessary or warranted to dump all the work on one person and expect them to take all the complaints and headaches and then not at least compensate them for it.




After several months of this, on top of the district manager refusing to communicate with me at all, the "trainer" advised me that because I have a bad attitude that I was about to be fired.  WTF?  I just can't imagine why anyone would have a bad attitude in this situation.  And how fucking tacky and unprofessional of the district manager to send her little minion to tell me this instead of talking to me personally about the situation.  It was not something the "trainer" should have even known about since she was not a manager or supervisor.  What the Hell did they expect?  I'm human, and I'd bet that most other humans would react in much the same way.

Companies Who Don't Call Interviewees Back Should Be Stabbed In The Face

My gripe du jour is about companies who call you to come in to interview for a job that you've applied for and then never bother to call you back.  Simply put, our job market sucks: Human Resources departments have their heads up their asses so far that they can see their own tonsils, managers are so chicken-shit that they can't piss down their own leg without asking permission, college graduates with massive amounts of student loan debt are begging for jobs at McDonalds, and people like me with no college degree but a grundle of experience (a grundle is two shitloads, by the way) are treated like cretinous imbeciles.




I went to probably my thousandth job interview (not exaggerating) a few weeks back, which means that I had to take time off work and make sure I was at the company early, then I sat there for almost an hour because the hiring manager decided she had more important things to do than to keep her appointment with me.  Of course I said it was no problem, though I was hoping that her eyeballs would start bleeding during the interview because I am sick and damn tired of being left to sit and molder on their cheap furniture while they pick their nose and giggle while playing their childish game of "let's keep the interviewee waiting."  I thought that I did well during the interview, but of course one never knows what the other side is really thinking.  "Is that her real hair or a fright wig?"  "I wonder why anyone over the age of forty even bothers to apply for a job."  "I hope that cute guy in Accounting who seemed impressed by how freaky I am in bed didn't catch my crabs."  And of course, I haven't heard back since the interview.




A few years ago, I actually went on 3 interviews at the same company for the same job and never heard back.  Three.  That's three interviews.  Three.  That means I had to take off work, drive over to the company, sit and listen to their bullshit for an hour or more, and say why I thought I was a great fit for their bullshit company and their bullshit job three different times.  And the motherfuckers didn't even have the common courtesy to call or email and tell me to take a flying leap off a bridge.  The worst interview I've ever been to was for a company I'd interviewed for previously and swore I'd never interview with again because they didn't bother to call or email afterward.  The headhunter who called begged me to go on an interview and said the management had changed.  I gave in and went, and the dumbshit conducting the interview actually played "20 Questions" with me to determine how good my troubleshooting skills were.  I should have gotten up and walked out.




So please, if you are interviewing potential employees, have some decency and either call or email the person if they don't get the job.  It's the least you can do, you lousy, putrid scumbag, and it may just help prevent a little shitty karma from showing up on your doorstep.

How To Be A Great Boss

1. Don't show your emotions, especially if you get angry or upset with your employees.  I had a boss who sent me an email asking, "Can you explain to me why you didn't do this?" after I neglected to change a status in our sales app for a customer.  Treating an employee with contempt does nothing for their morale, and will probably make them resent you.

2. Don't bad-mouth your employees, especially in writing.  I worked for two guys who acted like Beavis & Butthead: they fucked off and giggled like two little girls all day long, harassed and intimidated their employees, sent emails between themselves disparaging the employees and talking about all the drugs they'd been doing.

3. Don't make stupid bigoted comments about sex, race, religion, sexual orientation, weight, etc.  I've had a couple of bosses who asked me to "do a friend a favor" or what they should serve for breakfast at a morning meeting because "being a woman" I would know about what to serve for breakfast.

4. Don't let your insecurities (or other mental illnesses) get in your way.  A woman I used to work for always told everyone she had a degree in Communications (the degree people get when they can't hack an English Literature degree), but couldn't spell potato and did everything in her power to fire me after I teased her about it.  Guess what, Barbie doll: you look like a moron when you try to make yourself look smart by bringing up your degree but can't spell or use "big" words properly.

5.  For God's sakes, do not micromanage!  I used to work for a CIO who couldn't tie his shoes, much less manage anyone.  This imbecile claimed it only took "five clicks" to troubleshoot and fix PC problems, mainly because he wanted to outsource our PC techs to India.  If we experienced an outage or problem, he had to be right in the middle of everything, telling us what to do and how to do it.  Consequently, it always took twice as long to fix anything because he didn't know his ass from his elbow and his meddling only inhibited the actual problem solving.

The best bosses I've had simply get the hell out of the way, lead by example, and offer guidance when necessary.

Why Robots Are Better Employees Than Humans

So now companies are coming right out and posting in employment listings to NOT apply if you're unemployed: http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/job-listings-unemployed-not-apply-133143362.html.  If we as humans needed any more proof that (most) companies are run on the same principles as the Evil Empire, all of the news, headlines, and rumors about how (badly) employees are being treated should do the trick.  I really have to wonder if this isn't all an elaborate mind-game so that those in power can play God in order to observe how other people react when they're pitted against one another at work, vying for the same jobs, or when they're unemployed for long periods of time.

I was recently employed by Citi, where I received countless "kudos" and gratitude calls from customers who appreciated all the help they received from me.  Was I recognized or thanked in any way by Citi?  If by recognition you mean absolutely scathing and demeaning criticism by means of monthly quality call monitors, then yes.  However, when you consider that Citi is not only one of the many floundering companies who took advantage of the huge 2008 government bailout, but Citi also is notorious for having one of the top ten CEOs (Vikram Pandit) who are job killers (http://money.msn.com/investing/ceos-who-became-job-killers-thestreet.aspx?cp-documentid=6834878&GT1=33002) you begin to understand why the company is structured so that employees are setup to fail and why CEOs like Pandit make such huge salaries and bonuses. A bailout, especially that of the 2008 bailout, is typically necessary when a large company or companies have been mismanaged by incompetent executives who couldn't balance their own checkbook if their life depended on it.  Why are we are STILL seeing this mismanagement?  Why are we still sitting idly by as stuffed-shirt, college-educated idiots are running our business into the ground, trotting out the same tired business model and management practices that got us into this mess in the first place?

And what was so horrible that I said or did in my calls with customers to get such caustic reviews in my "quality" call monitors ?  I didn't thank the customer for calling about their specific issue and paused during the calls ("dead air"). I was told that it's my fault my quality scores were so poor and that I should "expect" negative feedback.  The other agents who are rude to customers and disparage them with slurs such as "diaper head" and "stupid" are praised by management because their call handle time is low.

Probably the only reason companies would not want to replace actual humans with robots would be the fact that there's too much enjoyment in inflicting pain and grief.

Career Happiness A Complete Delusion?

I read this article on msnbc.com tonight, and the first word that came to mind was, "Bullshit."
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43683917/ns/business-personal_finance/

The article speaks of career "happiness" as if it were Santa Claus, a mythical "thing" that people are told exists only so that they can drudge from day to day through their dreary lives and have just enough hope that they won't go home and drink a bottle of Drano.

And as is usually found in these types of articles, the main writer is either schizophrenic or just sloppy because they cite contradictory quotes, such as:

"The Internet has only made matters worse for some because job seekers can readily see a host of often-unattainable jobs on job boards that sound so much better than what they have...They are like squirrels and shiny objects.” says Elizabeth Gibson, director of the University of California San Diego’s Extension Career Transition and Development for Professionals Program.

"Wanting to get out of a gig you hate makes sense," said Dian Griesel, co-founder of The Business School of Happiness and co-author of “TurboCharged.” “When you find yourself working only for the paycheck you are wasting your time and talent, and eight hours might seem like a lifetime,” Griesel said. “You can try to rationalize the situation, but you can’t fool yourself at the primal gut level. You know the situation is bad.”

First of all, I am offended that Elizabeth Gibson would equate unhappy employees with squirrels, but it obviously reflects her inner feelings towards us lowly peasants that she feels are "beneath" her.  And why wouldn't she feel this way?  She probably makes a minimum of $1,000,000 in annual base salary alone, works and probably lives in San Fucking Diego, California, and probably gets paid $100,000 minimum - a piece - to travel all over the world giving lectures on her "squirrel" theories.  Well, Ms. Gibson, if I were in your position, I'd probably be just as pompous and arrogant and out of touch with the real world.

Anyone who has ever had a halfway decent job knows that it is possible to be happy with your job and also be productive.  The problem is the multitude of educated idiots, like Ms. Gibson, who want to perpetuate the number of other educated idiots who own or run or work in our corporations.  It's the same mind-set as attorneys who want more and more laws - the more attorneys out there, the more laws are needed to justify their existence.  By the way, if I did a little research, I'd bet my next paycheck that the two fastest growing or most largely populated career fields are currently attorneys and HR personnel.  I honestly believe this is one of the biggest problems with corporations and why those companies who embrace and perpetuate this nonsense will always eventually fail, no matter how many times our government bails them out.  GM and Chrysler are two very prime examples:  Bloated executives and management who believed that they would never run out of paying customers no matter how shitty their product was as long as it was marketed well and had "sex appeal".  Twenty-plus years ago I knew the American auto manufacturers would eventually find themselves in the position of either going bankrupt or begging for money because of their complete and utter mismanagement, arrogance, and ignorance.  Marketing people have their place, but you cannot put frosting on cow manure and call it a birthday cake and expect people to keep eating it.  No matter how gullible the general population is, they will - and did - wise up.  I've never worked for the auto manufacturers, but I have worked for a couple of companies who had the same mindset and eventually went out of business.  These companies had horrible management and working environments, encouraged employees to "tattle" on each other, and developed ambiguous policies and procedures that were designed simply for gains in profit at the expense of the customer and the failure of the lowly employees.

I do not expect any employer to bend over backwards to make my job fun, but I do expect my employer not to be punitive.  "Be glad you have a job" is simply the battle cry of incompetent and sadistic employers taking advantage of a bad economy and to excuse or rationalize their appalling treatment of employees and encouragement of or involvement in hostile work environments.  Expecting employees to simply be "happy they have a job" is akin to telling the Jewish (and Polish and Slavic and Gypsy) workers during WWII "Arbeit macht frei" - at least up until they are literally worked to death or put in the nearest gas chamber because they are no longer useful to their employer.